Make Lemonade out of Lemons- Things I Wish My Younger Self Knew- Lesson 9

As one grows older, more wisdom comes. Experiences, heartache, challenges, and difficulties teach us many life lessons that not only help us grow but can also help someone else.

 Divorce, as hard as it was then, changed me and made me who I am today.

With the years behind me, I can look back on my divorce with a different perspective and a touch of gratitude to God for pulling me through those tough years. I have learned so much over the years from that time, allowing me to reflect on the many lessons I can now share that shaped me into the person I am today. Divorce caused me to change my point of view and expectations in life. I learned to make lemonade out of lemons. 

 What you can learn from life lessons

When I divorced several years ago, I found myself alone and navigating an unfamiliar world. Having to deal with heartbreak while maintaining strength for my children was a daunting task that, at the time, I was unsure I could do. My life as a mother had to be shared, and my expectations of what I thought my life would be like when I got married and had children quickly died. I was forced into co-parenting and shared custody, and to be honest, I was not prepared for those things. 

My rights to be with my children every day were taken away, and I was devastated. 

But it remained out of my control and I soon realized that my kids deserved to be with their father just as much as with me. I knew that my life and their life would forever be changed. At the time, it made my heart sad. My dreams of what I envisioned my life would be were shattered. For a time, I thought my life was over. I thought I would not be able to be whole again. But little did I know what God had in store for me. 

Changing perspectives

I was forced very quickly to change my perspective. I could wallow in my self-pity or take advantage of my time away from my kids. Don’t get me wrong—if I could have spent every day with my children, I would have in a heartbeat, but those were not the cards I was dealt. 

 

I learned that I had to create a new normal, new dreams, and new desires for my life. 

 

So, if you are in this same situation, what will I tell you about this life lesson I learned? 

And what would I tell my younger self?

Dear Younger Self,

Make lemonade out of lemons.

Since you have the time, go out and learn to embrace it!

Meet a friend for lunch and shopping. 

Go for a long walk. 

Watch a movie.

 Call that friend or family member you have been meaning to call. 

Enjoy the quiet time.

 Clean the house with the music blaring. 

Take the dance lessons you have been wanting to take. 

Go to the gym without having to find a babysitter. 

Run your errands in peace. 

Sit outside and drink coffee. 

Read that book that has been sitting on the shelf collecting dust. 

Focus on yourself. 

There are no expectations—just time. 

Make lemonade out of lemons.

Learn to enjoy your “me” time. 

As much as I missed my kids. I knew they deserved all the love in the world.  If that meant they would receive that in another safe environment, I needed to learn to accept it. But it did not mean that I needed to stop my life. The time alone allowed me to reflect on what was important, especially for my children. Changing my perspective saved me and created a fresh start for me.  I began to enjoy the alone time and take advantage of building a better and stronger self. I could heal and learn to love myself again in my alone time. It allowed for self-discovery and growth. 

So, my friend, embrace your alone time. Rediscover your passions and take advantage of the time to focus on you.