Trusting through Prayer- Things I Wish My Younger Self Knew- Lesson 6

Prayer is the answer to my darkest days. It has led me out of the deep valleys and guided me to new beginnings. 

I sat in the middle of the floor, and my whole body went limp. Tears poured down my face like the rapid rain of a severe storm. They were falling so quickly that my body shook uncontrollably. I never knew how many tears could flow from my body. The pain was so intense and unbearable. 

My cries echoed through the silent house. The house where my little family began and our life was built. 

One word and moment destroyed that excitement, joy, and hope.

The pain of that time was incomprehensible. 

I struggled to see what was right ahead of me. 

I was paralyzed with fear of what the future would hold. 

I was defeated; 

I only wanted to sink into a hole and never resurface. 

The anger came. 

The bargaining began. 

The sadness stayed. 

I sat in the darkness, surrounded by memories of how it used to be. I wished and hoped that it would go back to that life. The shattered dreams flew by and landed in an explosive heap beside me. With agony, I looked and saw in the distance all the previous years playing out in slow motion. My heart felt like it was falling out of my chest from the deep sorrow it was carrying. My body hurt so much from the suffocation of my emotions. 

 

Friend, do you feel that way?

The deep pain from within pierces through your heart, and you feel like you can not go on. 

Are you searching for help? 

Do you wish to see some light in that unbearable darkness?

Prayer Lit the Way

Sitting in that darkness, I did what I could only manage to do. 

I prayed. 

All I could lean on in that moment was my faith. It was so dark that I could not see anything ahead of me. Looking behind me, I realized it was all just now a memory. My present was so blurry that I could not see one foot ahead. The future was so unknown and so scary.

 I just had to trust.

 Trust in the unknown. 

Trust that God had a plan.

 Trust that He would guide me. 

Little did I know that this was only temporary and there was a better plan than I had ever expected. 

But the journey would be long and difficult. Nothing was going to be straightforward about it. 

That is when I learned to sit with God and pray. Some days, that is all I had the strength to do. But in those moments, I felt safe. I felt heard, and I began to trust that it would all be okay. 

 

What would I tell my younger self?

Dear Younger self, 

You are going to go through some really tough times. Times in your life when the pain is going to be unbearable.  Times when you will feel so sad and alone. Times when you feel like you won’t be able to get out of bed. 

There are going to be challenging days. Days when you feel all hope is gone. 

On those days, you need to sit where you are and pray. Let everything out and speak to God. Just like you would a friend. 

Prayer will be your companion and guide you through it. 

In the silence of brokenness, prayer can become your voice.

God is listening to everything.

He knows your pain.

He feels your pain.

He is sitting right beside you. 

He will carry you out of it. 

It won’t be easy or happen overnight but trust that you are not alone. There is a beautiful plan waiting to unfold in His time. 

Prayer is your refuge. 

Faith is your strength. 

 

My friend, if you are feeling how I felt, please know that the storms of life may be fierce, but faith will light the way. 

Through your struggles, God’s plan will unfold, bringing unexpected blessings.