Still Believing through the Disappointments
Has there been disappointments in your life that made you feel so crushed in spirit?
Disappointments can take away your hope, your confidence and your belief in yourself.
They can eat away at your soul. They can crush your dreams and make you feel so alone and worthless.
When my marriage came to an end, I was left in a sea of disappointments.
Dreams were shattered.
The dreams we had planned together were gone.
Dreams for our family were over.
The dreams for our future were finished.
Dreams for our children were uncertain.
I sat in a pile of disappointments.
What I thought we had, and what I thought we had built, just seemed like an illusion. It had all crumbled. Never would I have thought that my marriage would end, let alone end in the way that it did.
I never felt more disappointed in my life. There was that disappointment in the person whom I married. There was disappointment in realizing that we were not on the same page. What I wanted in the marriage and what he wanted did not align. There was that disappointment in realizing that the vows we took were not as sacred as I thought they were for both of us. In addition, there was disappointment in myself. Wondering what I could have done better and what I took for granted that I thought would always be there.
At the time, my heart was broken.
Dreams were shattered.
Vows were dismissed as just empty promises.
My soul was lost.
I was in a deep hole that I wished to crawl out of, but I did not know how.
The despair was killing me.
I felt that my life was completely ruined.
Through it all I began to realize that disappointment cannot be avoided. Some disappointments are deeper than others. But to truly live- we are going to encounter moments of sadness in our lives.
The deep valleys we fall into and the tall mountains that we have to climb are going to be full of disappointments. We can sit in the rut of disappointments for quite a long time, if we allow it. They can take us down and hold us there for a long time.
I found that I needed strength to pull myself up and determination not to let this disappointment break me.
When I was at my lowest and the disappointments seemed to be overtaking me mentally and physically, I knew there was only one way out. – My faith
I needed to put my full trust in God.
“I called on the LORD in distress; The Lord answered me and set me in a broad place. “
( Psalm 118:5)
I knew I needed to cry out to Jesus and trust that God was going to shine a lighted path for me. I knew that I needed to give it all to Him. It was necessary to trust Him and put all my faith in Him.
My cries out to the Lord lasted a long time through this tough period but I began to realize that He was listening to me. I knew that I had to keep moving forward no matter the feelings that I had. God’s love was more abundant and powerful than any human love.
As I walked this road of discovery that rose up from my disappointments, I began to see a whole new world in front of me.
Things that I thought were so disappointing , at the time, were actually blessings in disguise.
Through disappointments came bits of joy.
When you walk through your disappointments, there can be bits of joy when you take the time to find those moments.
For me, those moments were the ones that I spent with my children. Despite my brokenness and disappointments, my precious children were my blessing. I began to look at the world around me through their eyes.
The wonder of a new day.
The excitement in a hug.
The sweet kisses from their little lips.
The beauty of their laughter.
The smiles in their eyes.
The enthusiasm in my son’s happy feet.
The preciousness of my daughter’s little voice.
That is where my joy came from.
I realized that I did not have time to sit in my disappointment and wallow in self pity. My two young children needed their mom to be present. I learned to take those bits of joy each day and cherish them.
Where can you find joy in the midst of your hurt and disappointments? If you look closely, the small moments are able to bring you joy.
Through disappointments came Hope
In this whole journey through divorce and self discovery, hope was always the light I was walking toward. It was what always kept me afloat and moving forward. The hope that the days would get better and the hope that the plans for me were much bigger than I anticipated.
I realized that God had much more in store for my life.
“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
What if you believed the same? God has plans for you. Whatever you may be feeling at this moment and whatever hurt or sadness that exists, what if you trust in the Lord and believe that his plans are much greater than you could ever imagine?
Through disappointments came Gratefulness
“I am certain that God who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished.” (Philippians 1:6)
How could I not be grateful for everything that I went through if I carry the faith that God will take it all and do something good with it. That is what I truly believe. God takes our times of struggle, disappointment, pain, and shame and creates something in us that will serve the world.
I know even to this day, the work is not complete. Those moments of disappointment continued to build the good work in me and to help me grow.
So instead of looking at your situation in a way of a victim, look at in a way that there is something much better to come if you believe and trust that God is doing the work for you.
Part of My Story
I learned that disappointments did not define who I was .
They were not a predictor of my future or a definition of my past.
They were part of my story.
This suffering did not dictate my life or my future.
Life is full of disappointments.
Nothing is perfect.
Nobody is perfect.
It is how we get back up and try again that matters. How we get back up and have the confidence and fortitude to keep moving forward despite the disappointments.
It is the ability to see what we can learn from all our trials.
Strength from God
The feelings of betrayal and brokenness I felt from my divorce were gut wrenching at times. But the strength I pulled from God and my trust that He would carry me was what I depended on. He provided me with strength when I was deep in my sadness and disappointment. He gave me what I needed at the time.
Disappointment creates the lowest of lows.
It can engulf our souls and bury us in the deep hole of murky waters.
Disappointment can leave us in a place that feels impossible to escape.
It is all the expectations, hopes and dreams that we envision for our future completely disappearing.
When you feel that the disappointments are so severe and you may not have the strength to endure it all, stop and yield to the Lord. He is there to support you, carry you, and walk beside you when you feel like you can’t go any further. Trust in Him and He will bring you peace in those times of sadness and uncertainty.